Pizza King (West) Redux, With a Little Help from My Friend

Yes, I'm doing Pizza King (West) again, but only because I now see the "West Side Village's" tastiest little hole-in-the-wall with fresh eyes. 

A few weeks ago, my friend Chad had the brilliant foresight to bring over a couple of PK pies, feeding me lines like "You haven't really had Pizza King until you've had their onion and BBQ pizza with extra cheese," or "If you don't try the taco pizza with extra shredded cheddar, I'll have to kill you." Music to my ears. I supplied the six pack of Cutters' otherworldly Floyd's Folly Scottish Ale. This is a good way to get through life, my friends.

Let me start with the taco pizza, since that's the one that will probably require the most impassioned defense. If you've been reading this blog, you're aware that I'm not a "hey, let's throw everything on the pizza and see what happens"-enthusiast. And to be perfectly frank, the idea of taco pizza has always struck me as what an annoying kid would order. The sort of annoying little brat who scrapes all the icing off his birthday cake and then leaves the cake just sitting there on the plate. 

But this thing is actually pretty good, in a white trash sort of way. (I mean, c'mon, it's topped with tortilla chips for crying out loud.)

Cuz' some people need more ways to die. That's why.  

Putting the word "taco" anywhere near this thing is like trying to argue that Mitch McConnell actually has a neck. (Technically, yes, but to what practical purpose?)

"My God. Is that man whiter than me?"

To veggie-fy the taco pizza, as Chad did, simply ask for "no meat with extra cheese." But the tortilla chips actually form a second crust, of sorts, which becomes a vital part of the overall effect of this pizza. So don't be tempted to cheat, in other words. 

The onion and BBQ—again with extra cheese—is definitely the better of the two pies, both in terms both of its general respectability and its flavor. Don't expect anything too thoughtful; this BBQ sauce is strictly foodservice. But it's got just the right amount of "smoky," corn syrupy-sweetness to balance out the pungency of the onions and (extra) cheese. I feel a little silly writing this, to be perfectly frank, but . . . it's a "nice balance of flavors." Trust me. I wouldn't write a sentence so banal unless it was absolutely necessary to the review.

Wash down with Scottish Ale. Rinse and repeat.