Stoney's Sourdough Pizza Co and the Fantastical Flying Pizza Planet

The city is changing, albeit very slowly. Kokomo trudges forward into the future, dragging its heels like a pissed-off child much of the time, but forward it does go. Unlike a bigger city with a rapidly changing landscape, Kokomo tends to hold onto the past for far longer and with much tighter grip. For instance, Kokomo housed one of the last Sears in the Midwest, a dying business that has since reduced its numbers to 21 stores nationally–down from 3,000 at its peak. Closing Sears was much like ripping off a Band-Aid from a hairy leg. And when we finally let go of that archaic business, the shell left behind was quickly filled with ANOTHER brick-and-mortar clothing store that sold discount merchandise–selling discounted Sears clothing inside the carcass of a dead Sears store is quite possibly one of the most savage moves I’ve seen in my life. “Letting go” is not Kokomo’s typical MO.

So, when another dying business model and industry begins to fade out of the world after establishing some DEEP roots in many locations throughout the city, what does Kokomo do? It doubles down and keeps that industry afloat roughly 15 years longer than it needed to be! I speak, of course, about the movie rental industry.

Netflix “opened its doors” in 1997, so to speak. This marked the beginning of the end for movie rental franchises, even if we didn’t realize it at first. What started as a snail-mail movie rental option would quickly become a digital rental and streaming service giant, ushering in Blockbuster’s extinction–and subsequently, the downfall of every other movie rental franchise from the 90’s. For Kokomo, this mass extinction took extraordinarily long to finish the job, but when it did, many lost an icon of their childhood: Family Video.

The final Family Video went out of business shortly before the pandemic (although all of them truly died long before). This exodus of businesses left gaping holes in Kokomo’s real estate.What would fill these husks of buildings now littering the city? There can only be so many Dollar Stores in the less than 37 square miles allocated to Kokomo city limits. Turns out, the answer can be a pizza place.

Credit: Stoney's Facebook Page      
Stoney's is ran by Memelords

Introducing Stoney’s Sourdough Pizza Co., a revolutionary pizza joint that can hopefully teach Kokomo that moving forward can sometimes be GOOD. Opened in the spring of 2018, Stoney’s offers all the usual: pizza, breadsticks, too-yellow cheese sauce, anything a respectable, local pizza joint should. However, they also boast something unique; an aspect which they have built their image around: a simple crust that none of their competitors use (or at least they don’t openly claim so).

Starting on the city’s north end, Stoney’s has since moved, and is now tucked away at the former location of Kokomo’s final Family Video. The building has been retrofitted for Stoney’s on the inside, but any Kokomo native could pick this building out as a Family Video from a mile away. The side wall has also been painted with a unique mosaic piece, giving Stoney’s new location some charm and individuality. In a city of plain brick buildings, Stoney’s chooses to be a bright, neon beacon.

Stoney’s boasts an online ordering system, something far too progressive for most Kokomo businesses, but alas it made my experience much faster and more convenient than others visited under A Slice of Kokomo. Inside, Stoney’s keeps it simple. A small shelf and some stools along the front wall gave me some time to bask in the smells of melty mozzarella and fresh baked bread. Nothing flashy is needed when you are making great pizza, I suppose.

                              
                              

But I brought company this time, so a small shelf wasn’t going to cut it. We took our pizza to another local establishment to enjoy, but that doesn’t change the experience, or so I’d think.

To say the pizza was a big hit with my niece would be an understatement. For a sub-30 lbs kid, she packed it away pretty easily, chomping through three slices large enough to feed a fully grown adult. But, when you ask a 3 year old for their criticism of a pizza, you don’t get much beyond “It’s really good,” and “Can I have another?”

However simple her critique, it was spot on. Stoney’s is really good. Their use of simple, fresh ingredients for the crust set them apart from some of the frozen dough ball franchises in town. Sure, they seem to use the bargain tubs of orange cheese goop for their side dipping sauce (and if I am wrong here, please correct me. But anything THAT orange must be from a can, right?), but when you are putting that much love into the main character, the support cast can afford to go by the wayside.

As with all pizza places I try, I did attempt a cheese stretch test, which Stoney’s did 0/10 stretchiness, but to that, I must say, so what? The cheese drooling off the crust isn’t a necessity here. It coats the pie, keeps your mouth swimming in chewy mozzarella, and overall, it serves its purpose here. Why complicate the equation with form and visual appeal? This pizza is good, and judging “plating” only helps someone far more pretentious than I want to be this week. Stoney’s is a fresh take on an otherwise perfect food. And maybe the freshness comes with a sacrifice that only I care about anyway.

Kokomo refuses to change, that much we know. But when it does adapt, it can create something entirely unique. Stoney’s is not only a positive pizza experience, I think it is a positive change for this town. We’ve come a long way since the days of Pizza King and the Big 3 fast food pizza places dominating our dining experience, and it’s time we have an alternative. Not that Pizza King isn’t delicious (more on them in another segment), but we deserve more variety.

Stoney’s is here to stay, and boy do they deserve to.